The Cost of the Dream: What Ariel Can Teach Athletes About Sacrifice

Watch the YouTube clip above for a conversation with Leslie Trujillo, MA about Ariel, athletic goals, and the sacrifices athletes make when they're pursuing something they really want.

Ariel gives up her voice to pursue her dream of becoming part of the human world.

That's a pretty big commitment.

I mean, I've made some sacrifices for things I wanted. I've given up free time. I've spent countless hours training. I've moved around for opportunities. But I've never gotten to the point where I thought, You know what? I guess I don't need my voice anymore.

Then again, I haven't met Ursula.

When Leslie Trujillo and I talked about The Little Mermaid for Movie House Sport Psychology, we started thinking about Ariel's deal with Ursula as a pretty good metaphor for what athletes do when they pursue a goal.

Because every goal has a cost.

What Are You Willing to Give Up for Your Athletic Goals?

Leslie made a pretty straightforward point: if you want to become really good at something, you're probably going to have to give something else up.

For a young athlete, that might mean missing a friend's birthday party because you have practice. Maybe your friends are going to the beach and you're heading to strength and conditioning. Maybe you just got home from school, you're exhausted, and you'd really like to sit on the couch and do nothing.

But you have practice.

That's part of the deal.

If you want to improve, you're going to need to put time into your sport. That might mean extra practice, strength and conditioning, studying the game, reading, or working on the mental side of performance.

The thing is, I don't think we should automatically view those sacrifices as something negative.

If you're pursuing something you care about, giving up some other things can be completely reasonable.

The question is what you're giving up and why you're giving it up.

The Sacrifices Athletes Make to Pursue Their Goals

Leslie gave us a great example from her own career.

She was living in California when she had the opportunity to take an internship at Notre Dame. It wasn't a full-time position. It didn't pay very much. And she had another option that would have paid significantly more.

Her parents weren't exactly jumping for joy about the decision.

She had already earned two master's degrees. Why move across the country for a paid internship?

But Leslie looked at the opportunity differently.

There would always be another chance to get a job as an athletic director or work in education. But she wasn't sure she'd ever have another opportunity to work with athletes at Notre Dame.

So she went.

She left California. She left her friends. And she accepted a much smaller paycheck because she believed the opportunity was worth it.

That's a pretty good example of what it means to pursue a goal.

It's also a good reminder that sacrifice isn't really the point.

The point is what you're sacrificing for.

More Sacrifice Doesn't Necessarily Mean More Commitment

This is something I think can get lost in sports.

Sometimes we treat sacrifice like it's proof that an athlete is committed.

You didn't go to the party? You must really want it.

You trained while everyone else was hanging out? You must be serious.

You gave up sleep, relationships, schoolwork, and everything else? Well, that's just what it takes to be great.

Maybe.

But maybe not.

There are times when athletes need to work hard and make sacrifices. That's part of competing.

But I don't think the goal should be to see how much you can give up.

Leslie didn't move to Notre Dame because she wanted to suffer. She moved because she thought that particular opportunity was worth the sacrifice.

That's different.

If you're giving up something important, it helps to know why.

Athletes Don't Know How Their Decisions Will Turn Out

There's another part of Ariel's decision that I find interesting.

She doesn't know how things are going to turn out.

Neither do athletes.

You can spend years training for a goal and still not know whether you're going to make the team.

You can transfer to a new school because you think it will be a better opportunity, only to discover that things aren't what you expected.

You can move across the country for a job because you think it's the right next step.

You can put your body through years of training and competition while knowing that injuries are possible.

During our conversation, I joked that athletes are basically making a deal with their bodies: I'm going to put my body on the line, and hopefully everything works out.

That's not a guarantee.

It's a risk.

And that's one of the difficult parts of pursuing a dream. You don't get to know the ending before you decide whether to start.

The dream can change

Something else Leslie said stood out to me. She talked about pursuing the strength and conditioning career she wanted at the time and learning through the journey as she went.

I like that distinction.

At the time.

Because athletes change.

What you wanted at 15 might not be what you want at 25.

Maybe you thought you wanted to play professionally, but eventually discover that you love coaching.

Maybe an injury changes your plans.

Maybe you reach the level you spent years trying to reach and realize you don't actually enjoy it as much as you thought you would.

That doesn't mean all the work was wasted.

It means you learned something.

Sometimes pursuing a goal is valuable because you reach the goal.

Sometimes it's valuable because you learn more about yourself along the way.

You don't have to do it alone

And, of course, Ariel has some help.

Sebastian. Flounder. Scuttle.

I'm not sure I'd recommend taking career advice from a seagull who thinks a fork is a grooming tool, but at least Ariel has people around her.

That's important for athletes, too.

Leslie talked about how difficult it is to accomplish something truly great completely on your own. Coaches, teammates, mentors, friends, and family members can all make a difference. Sometimes they're the people who remind you who you are when things get hard.

That's something I think gets overlooked when we talk about athletic achievement.

We talk a lot about individual commitment.

We talk about discipline.

We talk about sacrifice.

But we don't always talk about the people who help make those things possible.

Nobody really does this alone.

So, what are you willing to give up to pursue your goal?

Maybe it's some weekends. Maybe it's free time. Maybe it's moving across the country for an opportunity you believe is worth it.

Just try not to give up your voice.

This is just one of the connections Leslie and I made between Ariel's story and the athletic experience. In the full episode, we get into some of the other ways The Little Mermaid surprisingly connects with sport psychology, including mentorship, perspective, and what happens when you try something new.

Want to hear the whole conversation? Listen to the full episode of Movie House Sport Psychology on Spotify.

And if you do find yourself struggling with the pressure that comes with pursuing a goal, that's something you don't necessarily have to figure out by yourself either.

As a clinical sport psychologist, I work with athletes dealing with things like performance anxiety, perfectionism, fear of mistakes, and the pressure to perform. I work with athletes throughout Los Angeles, Long Beach, and the South Bay, including through telehealth.

I work with athletes throughout Los Angeles, Long Beach, and the South Bay, including competitors trying to perform at a high level while also enjoying their sport. You can learn more about working with me by visiting my dedicated service pages for Los Angeles, Long Beach, or the South Bay.